I Failed at Adulthood Last Tuesday
Look, I’m gonna be honest here. I failed at being an adult last Tuesday. I mean, completley failed. It wasn’t pretty. I forgot to pay a bill, burned dinner, and somehow managed to get ketchup on my white sofa. Again. (Which, honestly, nobody asked for but here we are.)
And it got me thinking. We’re all just kinda making it up as we go, right? Adulthood isn’t this neat, tidy thing they sell us on. It’s messy. It’s chaotic. It’s a lot of pretending you know what you’re doing while secretly Googling ‘how to adult’ at 11:30pm.
So, let’s talk about it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The committment issues we have with our gym memberships, the way we still get excited about pizza for dinner like we’re 12, and why we all have that one friend who’s just way too good at this adulting thing. Let’s call him Marcus. I hate Marcus.
Marcus, Why Must You Be So Perfect?
Marcus is that guy. You know the one. He has a perfectly organized pantry, remembers birthdays, and actually enjoys doing his taxes. I met him at a conference in Austin last year. We got coffee at this little place on 5th, and he told me, and I quote, ‘I just find joy in being responsible.’
I wanted to punch him. I mean, who says that? Who finds joy in responsibility? That’s not normal. Is it?
I asked my friend Lisa about this. She’s a bit more put together than me, but still human. She laughed and said, ‘Honestly, I think Marcus is just weird. Normal people don’t enjoy adulting. We just do it because we have to.’
Which… yeah. Fair enough.
But Seriously, Why Is This So Hard?
About three months ago, I read this study—okay, fine, it was an article on gadget reviews detailed analysis—about how our brains aren’t wired for all this adult stuff. It’s like we’re still trying to figure out how to operate a smartphone, but now we’re also supposed to have a retirement fund and know how to unclog a drain.
It’s too much. It’s just… yeah. It’s too much.
And don’t even get me started on relationships. Dating as an adult is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture blindfolded. You’re pretty sure you’re doing it right, but then you realize you’ve been screwing in the screws the wrong way for the last 20 minutes and now you’re stuck.
I had this conversation with my colleague named Dave last week. He’s been married for 10 years, and he told me, ‘The secret is just pretending you know what you’re doing. Even when you don’t.’
I’m not sure that’s the best advice, Dave.
A Tangent: Why Can’t We Just Have Nice Things?
Look, I get it. Adulthood is about responsibility. But why can’t we have nice things too? Like, why does having a grown-up life mean we can’t also have a collection of 214 Funko Pops or spend $87 on a limited-edition vinyl?
I think it’s because society has this weird idea that being an adult means you have to give up all the fun stuff. But that’s not true. You can be an adult and still love Harry Potter. You can have a successful career and still cry during the sad parts of rom-coms.
Embrace your inner child, people. It’s the only way to survive this mess.
The Ugly Truth
Here’s the thing about adulting: it’s not all bad. There are perks. Like being able to buy wine whenever you want. And not having to ask your parents for money. And the sheer joy of being able to eat cereal for dinner without anyone judging you.
But the ugly truth is, it’s hard. It’s really hard. And it’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to still be learning. It’s okay to burn dinner sometimes.
So, let’s cut ourselves some slack. Let’s admit that we’re all just winging it. And let’s try to enjoy the ride, even when it’s messy and chaotic and we have ketchup on the sofa.
Because at the end of the day, that’s what adulting is. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about figuring it out as you go. And maybe, just maybe, finding a little joy in the process.
About the Author: Hi, I’m Sarah. I’m a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience, and I’m still figuring out this adulting thing. I write about lifestyle, relationships, and the messy art of growing up. When I’m not editing articles, you can find me burning dinner or Googling ‘how to adult’ at 11:30pm.
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