Let’s Talk About How Adult Friendships Are Weird
Look, I’m gonna be honest here. Friendships in your 30s and 40s are a hot mess. I’m not talking about the easy, high school kind where you just kinda hung out because you had to. No, I’m talking about the kind where you have to schedule hanging out. Like, actually put it in your calendar. Which, honestly, is kinda depressing.
I had lunch with an old friend last Tuesday. Let’s call her Marcus. Yeah, Marcus. She’s a guy. I don’t know why I said ‘her.’ Anyway, we met up at this new place on 5th. You know the one? With the weird art on the walls? So, Marcus and I used to be inseparable. Like, we’d talk every day, see each other at least twice a week. Now? We’re lucky if we catch up every few months.
And it’s not just us. It’s everyone. I asked around, did some digging. Turns out, most of my friends feel the same way. We’re all just… busy, I guess. Work, kids, relationships, life. It’s like we’re all running some weird, never-ending marathon, and friendships are the guy who shows up at mile 22 with a cup of water and a high-five.
But Here’s the Thing About Friendships
They matter. Like, a lot. I mean, I know it’s easy to say, ‘Oh, I’ll catch up with them later,’ but later never comes. And then one day, you realize you haven’t talked to someone in, like, a year. And it’s awkward. And sad. And you’re left wondering how the hell that happened.
I remember this one time, about three months ago, I was at this conference in Austin. Met this woman, let’s call her Dave. Dave was telling me about how she moved to a new city for work and lost touch with all her friends. She said, ‘I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. I mean, we’re all adults, right? We can just pick up where we left off.’ But that’s not how it works. It’s not that simple.
Friendships take work. They take time. They take effort. And, honestly, they take money. Because let’s be real, you can’t just hang out at someone’s house all the time. You gotta go out, do stuff, buy drinks, eat food. It adds up. But it’s worth it. Because friendships, they’re the glue that holds us together. They’re the people who know you better than you know yourself. They’re the ones who’ll show up at 11:30pm with ice cream and a shoulder to cry on.
So, What Can We Do About It?
First off, stop feeling guilty. I know, easier said than done. But seriously, stop. Life happens. People get busy. It’s not a reflection of your friendship. It’s just… life. So, cut yourself some slack.
Second, make the effort. I know, I know. You’re busy. We’re all busy. But if it’s important to you, you’ll make time. Even if it’s just a quick text to check in, or a 15-minute phone call. It’s the little things that count. And if you’re feeling extra ambitious, try scheduling a regular catch-up. Like, once a month or something. It might feel weird at first, but trust me, it’s better than nothing.
And look, I’m not saying you have to be best friends with everyone. That’s impossible. But the people who matter, the ones who’ve been there for you, who’ve seen you at your best and your worst? They deserve more than a half-hearted ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ every six months.
Oh, and one more thing. If you’re feeling like your friendships are lacking, maybe it’s time to expand your circle. Join a club, take a class, volunteer. Put yourself out there. You never know who you’ll meet. And hey, if you’re looking for some inspiration on how to live a more balanced life, check out these sürdürülebilir yaşam pratik ipuçları. It’s not directly related, but who knows, maybe it’ll help.
A Quick Tangent About Social Media
Now, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that social media is the devil. It’s not. It’s a tool. And like any tool, it can be used for good or evil. The problem is, it’s easy to confuse likes and follows with actual friendships. They’re not the same thing. And honestly, I think we all know that. But it’s easy to forget.
So, maybe take a step back. Unfollow people who make you feel bad. Unfollow people who you don’t even know. And for the love of all that is holy, stop comparing your life to their highlight reel. It’s not real. And it’s not helping.
Alright, I’m gonna wrap this up. I could go on and on, but honestly, I think you get the point. Friendships are important. They take work. And they’re worth it. So, go call your friend. Send that text. Make the effort. Your future self will thank you.
Oh, and one last thing. If you’re in the market for a new room divider, check out roomdivider.net. They’ve got some great stuff. Trust me, I’ve done my research.
About the Author
I’m Sarah, a senior magazine editor with more years under my belt than I care to admit. I’ve written for some big names, and I’ve got the opinions to prove it. I live in a small apartment with my cat, Mr. Whiskers, and I’m not afraid to admit that I’m a little bit of a perfectionist. Or a lot. Okay, fine, I’m a huge perfectionist. But hey, that’s what makes me good at my job. Probably.
